Painting: © Amy Ackerman — “Hope Two”
Poem by: ALEX BLANK MILLARD
Watching is the worst
But, we are always watching.
We watch through her
together, Future and Past.
Each day, she grows closer
to Future and further from me.
I become younger, by comparison.
She begins to forget our favorite moments:
Kissing Eduardo beside the Chirimoya tree
when we were five, when his touch was welcome.
that delicious Leche Asada el Cocinero used to make
when our feet still dangled off the stool,
….when we were still impressed by desserts.
But el Cocinero is too old to make puddings anymore,
mostly he sleeps, unneeded,
since our parents died two springs ago.
I feel like an orphan,
so we all do.
Each night she lets us in a bit
before she sleeps.
Future pulls at her with aspiration and fantasy
but not I.
I whisper to her of games we played by the water.
When we were too young to care about modesty,
….when we were free and wore our hair short and curly.
I make her giggle with stories of small adventures,
….and amigas fuertas
When we were naive and brave, when we were our own heroes.
When we knew so little we knew everything.
Before our ojos lost their shine.
Alex Blank Millard has an MFA in Creative Writing from The New School. After 15+ years of working in education, Alex now runs her own consulting business in Philadelphia. She is also a panel member, answering reader questions for the project I Believe You | It’s Not Your Fault and runs the project Women* Draw Penii. Her most recent writing can be found at xoJane.com. You can follow Alex on twitter@hippoinatutu.