I MISS BEING 10 YEARS OLD

By Justine Defever

I cut out pictures from Cat Fancy Magazine

and stuck them to the bulletin board in my room.

Next to each mouth, I pressed speech bubble stickers.

I pinned a brass crucifix in the center,

so Jesus could watch over all the cats.

When I missed the ocean, I huffed a jar

of stale cockle shells from a vacation to Virginia.

I jumped off swings when playground ladies weren’t watching.

I didn’t question Home Depot hotdogs.

I saved my Bubblegum Lip Smacker for special occasions,

like going to the Fashion Square Mall.

I was scared of losing my cubic zirconia earrings.

I pushed the metal backs as tight as I could

until my earlobes gulped them up.

I plucked my eyebrows Christina-Aguilera-thin.

My fingernails were always wider than long.

I memorized my emergency plan for every natural disaster

in the National Audubon Society Field Guide to Weather.

I was convinced that I’d spontaneously combust.

Bees were going to fly up the toilet and sting my butt.

The man who died in our bathroom was going to appear

behind me when I brushed my teeth.

I’d be the next medical anomaly in Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

Maybe I don’t miss being 10.

_____________

Justine Defever is a Michigan-based poet and professor — and now 1^st PLACE WINNER in ZO Magazine’s Decennalia Poetry Expo.